He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, “Do you see anything?” He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.” Once more Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly.
(Mark 8:23-25 NIV)
Do you see anything? I've read this scripture several times and never really understood the weight of that question. Do you see anything? Do you see your calling? Do you see your friends? Do you see your enemies? Do you see the red flags? Do you see the open doors? Do…you….see…anything?
Growing up, I always considered the look of non-prescriptive eyeglasses fashionable. Until one day, after a routine eye exam, I discovered that my vision was terrible. I was heartbroken to find that I needed to pop my false lenses out and replace them with a magnifying glass. Suddenly, my glasses were no longer a fashionable accessory but a real-life necessity, and I no longer wanted to wear them.
The first time I received a pair of prescriptive eyeglasses, I remember seeing "too" clearly. It seemed like wearing them highlighted all my insecurities and imperfections. I recall looking in the mirror and wondering if my nose had always been this big. Has my skin always been this dry? Just as I could see myself, I could also see others, from the size of their pores to the food in their teeth. I hated it. So oddly enough, whenever I would come into proximity of a mirror or people, I would take my glasses off out of fear of seeing too much. Finally, I realized I loved the look of glasses, but I hated looking through them. I preferred not to wear them and found a certain comfort level in my blurred vision. I know it sounds crazy, but it's the truth. I wanted the look, but I wasn't ready to see.
Last year my family and I made what I thought was a blind move. We moved to Georgia with no line of sight of what we will do here or how we will do it. I felt like I'd been moving in the dark for the last year. I recently realized that God didn't bring me here to be in the dark, but he moved me here so that I could see. While I felt like I was struggling with my lack of vision, I struggled with having clarity. It is the sight that's been hard. I could see where I've been making mistakes, where I've been challenged spiritually, where I stood with certain people, and even how my past impacted my present. The hardest thing I've had to see is my potential and calling. And like my first time with prescriptive glasses, I longed for the moments when things were a little blurred. I longed for the moments when ignorance was bliss. Why? Because vision comes with responsibility and accountability. Most importantly, vision ushers you into unexpected change.
I heard a quote by Sarah Jakes Roberts that stuck with me. She said who you had to be to survive is not the same person you will be to thrive. This resonated with me because I learned how to survive in the dark. I learned how to survive in poverty, toxic relationships, grief, dysfunction, domestic violence, the hood, the projects, and brokenness. I learned how to survive by flying under the radar. The darkness was my stomping ground. I've always known I didn't have the perfect upbringing, which was ok. I accepted it for what it was. I gave myself several passes for my actions in my blind seasons. Walking into a wall in the dark doesn't feel nearly as crazy as walking into a wall you can see. Likewise, if I could somewhat justify my decisions due to my level of ignorance, it doesn't seem so bad. If I can say I never saw that coming, I was never exposed to better, or I never saw this person being this way, it gives me an excuse to stay in survival mode. But being able to see things for what they are puts me in a position to be accountable for my choices. I can't blame it on my blindness. I have been in a SEEson.
What do you see? Some of you may be in what you have thought was a blind season, but this is your SEEson. A SEEson is a period in your life when the unknown becomes known. Being in a SEEson is scary because seeing the unfamiliar can be just as uncomfortable as seeing nothing. This is not to hurt you but to help you go from surviving to thriving. However, that shift is based on what you choose to do with what you are shown. God is showing you things about yourself, your decisions, and your relationships that you have been leaving in the dark. It's time to say what He has shown you to say. Release what He has shown you have come to an end. Embrace what He has shown you is yours.
Sometimes we pray for vision when it's the seeing that we're struggling with. So, girl, show up with your God-given vision and make your next move your best move.
Prayer: Dear God, today I thank you for the gift of seeing. God, as we continue to see, help us make wise decisions based on what we have been shown. God help us to face our flaws, insecurities, and greatness. God make us uncomfortable with playing it safe. God make us uncomfortable with operating in the grey areas. God help us find peace with having clarity, especially when the clarity requires changes in our actions. God help us see the woman you want us to show up as when we look in the mirror. In the name of your son, Jesus, we pray. Amen.